lessthanjake765 asked:
This is an incredibly offensive song inspired by a rather rotund woman I spotted one afternoon at the supermarket. My friend made a comment about her kankles and how she could barely walk and the song just went from there. Enjoy!
Lyrics:
It’s a vicious cycle, this we know
You eat because you’re stressed
Then you’re stressed because you ate
And so you to eat some more…
Well, settle down there thunder thighs,
You can’t really talk
Hell with those cankles I’m surprised
That you can even walk…
Now sit down tubby listen here,
I’ve got a tale for you
About how guys don’t like fat chicks
So lose a pound or two
Ooooh!
There was a girl named Bertha Sue
Who wasn’t nearly as fat as you,
Yet when they saw her
People ran in fear
Well you are nearly twice her size
And with that comes this big surprise
You have the power to make
Men turn queer
A superpower more or less,
Excuse me please I think your breast
Is resting
On my… foot?
Well it’s alright Miss double wide
We know its a disease
But Let me ask when was the last time that you saw your knees?
Hold your hunger, a minute longer
We’re coming to the end
Just a few more moments and you’ll be with Little Debbie again
I do remember in my school days
While all the children would laugh and play
She sat to the side
We tried to make her lose some weight,
But she just ran right home and ate
Everything that she could find
She was always facing that verbal abuse
Probably due to her huge caboose
Everyday a new name,
Like:
Lard Ass, Tuba Luba, Sweat Hog, Chair Crusher, Pork Beast, Wide Load,
Butterball, House cow, Alabama Swamp Sow, Gross Weight, Aisle Blocker,
Rumpopotamus and Spoon and Fork Operator
(Now you don’t want that do you?)
THEN LOSE SOME WEIGHT!
It’s over fatso, so let me hear, what you thought of my tale
About how guys don’t like fat chicks
Maybe you should look into females
Guys don’t like fat ******…